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An Inexplicable Relationship...

This period spanning over 22 years has been a ride, and one thing that has stayed with me is my change of feelings for you. Yes God, I want to write this to you!!!

Why has it been so?
Why are you always there?

Whenever I am sad, I so much want a conversation with you. Whenever I have cried, I have called out your name so many times. Why is there so much inclination from my side towards you?

Have I seen you?
Have I met you?
Have I talked to you?

Beyond doubt, these questions attract a simple NO as answers.
I or any human beings for that matter has been so divinely programmed to believe in you, and most of us do believe in you, “include me!!”
I get hurt, I scold you, and I get angry on you for not giving me my due. Not that it minifies my pain one bit, but somehow I manage to have a feeling that you are listening, I can cry my heart out, no matter how rude I may get, I know you will take it.

The other day, I was on the cricket field, our team was virtually out of the contest. Don’t know why I was irresistibly looking up for some diving magic from you.
Years ago when I was appearing for entrance exams, I prayed to you. Why? Well, that escapes reasoning.
Everyday, at my place I light up the temple. I am not an atheist, but not ardent believer either!!!

I love heavenly experiences like a call from an old friend, a 1-year old kid holding your hand in a crowded bus, a smile from an old aunty for being offered a seat in the Delhi Metro. All this is heavenly, makes me believe your existence, but there also are some other instances, some different ones.

A family with a housewife, a 2-year old kid and the husband, who dies in an accident leaving the family all on its own. A destructive tsunami that kills millions and breaks hearts of even more.

I don’t deny the fact that I would always believe in you, but I surely don’t want to meet you.
Some relationships are better off if not held very close. As they say, Distances and separations are also required in a relationship.

8 comments:

  1. wow wowwwww......i always do the same but could never have jotted down it down d way u have done..tooo goood animesh

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  2. Thank you Nidhi, love such encouragement.....
    And Yes, this write up is something that has always played on my mind, hopefully, I was able to script it well, hopefully :)

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  3. LOL, even I talk to him sometimes, and I think he knows that I am more needed down here than up there.

    He exists if you believe, even if you don't he might.


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  4. @Blasphemous: I know He does :)

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  5. This is a very complex topic you've chosen to write on. I can't incorporate my utmost honesty while commenting on this write of yours as I myself am confused over my beliefs and the existence of any supreme being, if there is any. Nonetheless, I appreciate your chain of thoughts. But from a writer's point of view (though I'm no one), I would suggest that sometimes too much simplicity ruins your basic idea. I would have liked it much more had it been a bit subtle and mysterious and subject to open interpretations. Leaving such thing to obviousness somehow lessens its impact, at least what I feel. But having said this, I must reiterate that it's only the opinion of a novice like me and shouldn't be taken too seriously. Rest, you are proving your credentials as a writer by seasoning with each of your writes. Keep up the good work. :))

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  6. @From the Ashes again: I agree to the point you made about too much simplicity ruining the basic idea. While writing this post, I somehow felt like keeping this one simple.
    All in all, Your advice taken, sincerely. Thank you bro :)

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